Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
