I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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