Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
