I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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