Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm always down for nudity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
