I queefed so loud it echoed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
