i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
