when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
