this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
