watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
