at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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