just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
