I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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