What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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