Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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