I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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