Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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