Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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