I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
