we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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