do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
