We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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