dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
