If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
