On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Did I show you my penis last night?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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