You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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