dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
