We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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