apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
