i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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