you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
