This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
