Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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