This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I supernannyed him into submission
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
