we're blogging at a bar
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
