he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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