either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
