i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she peed on how many people?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
