they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
