Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
