"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize