i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
