just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
