look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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