So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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