we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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