So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
