Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
