Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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