Kiss
Puke
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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