Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
