I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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