Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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