Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
