it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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