I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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