I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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