Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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