I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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